Politics comes at you really fast.
Under Obama, all the investigations were fake wastes of money. (Except discovering that Ferguson city workers had been emailing each other Obama jokes. That was a vital and important investigation worth burning down a neighborhood for.) And then Trump won, suddenly all the investigations were vital and necessary.
But wait.
Any investigations of Hillary are also fake wastes of money. Take it from fake waste of money, Dan Pfeiffer, former Obama adviser, current CNN contributor.
Fake scandals promoted by Fox News fake journalists now get their own fake criminal investigation paid for with real taxpayer dollars https://t.co/02RhxwrOk3
— Dan Pfeiffer (@danpfeiffer) November 14, 2017
I know this is confusing. The only fake scandals that are supposed to get their own fake criminal investigations come from the mainstream media. It's in the contract.
Also, no criminal investigations of President Cory Booker, President Bernie Sanders or President Fidel Castro Jr. are evil legit. Ever.
To recap.
Investigations of Republicans are always legitimate. It doesn't matter how much money they cost or how much time they consume. We must pursue them to the end.
Investigations of Democrats are fake news nonsense invented by racists who hate the idea of a female presidential candidate helping Russia get its hands on our uranium.
If you're still confused, you probably don't watch CNN.