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Obama, Media Shocked to Learn New Taliban Boss is "Extreme"

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Like most of you, I held out hope that the new Taliban leader would be one of those moderate Taliban. You know the ones who only stone women half to death and only throw half a grenade at American soldiers. Sadly though, the new Taliban leader, like every Taliban leader ever, turns out to be one of those hard line extremist meanies

The selection of a hard-line cleric as the new Taliban chief on Wednesday all but dashes U.S. President Barack Obama's hopes for opening peace talks before he leaves office, one of his top foreign policy goals, current and former U.S. defense and intelligence officials said.

And that was such a realistic goal. Up until now attempts to negotiate with the Taliban proved utterly useless. Despite Biden's promises about all the moderate Taliban just waiting to chat us up.

The Taliban leadership council tapped Mullah Haybattulah Akhundzada, a conservative Islamic scholar from the group's stronghold in southern Afghanistan

As opposed to the liberal abortion and gay rights Islamic activist whom Obama was hoping would get picked.

U.S. officials had called Mansour a major impediment to peace talks, and some had expressed hope his death would eliminate an obstacle to peace negotiations between the Taliban and the government of Afghan President Ashraf Ghani.

Pop quiz. Do you know what the impediment to peace talks with the Taliban are? The Taliban.

Instead, some experts said, Akhundzada is likely to pursue aggressive attacks throughout the summer, intensifying the pressure on Obama to reconsider his plan to withdraw U.S. military trainers and special forces and leave the decision on how to end America's longest war to his successor.

Withdrawing from Iraq worked so well. Why not try it in Afghanistan. What's the worst that could happen?

"Prospects for the Afghan peace process remain poor. The Taliban leadership, including the new commander, Mullah Akhundzada, believe military victory is only a matter of time," said Bruce Riedel, a Brookings Institution expert and former CIA officer who headed Obama's first Afghanistan policy review.

I can't imagine why they would think that a warrior like Barack Obama could ever be forced to withdraw from Afghanistan. I'm sure he's got some sort of red line just for the occasion.

The administration remains committed to its strategy of pressing for peace talks while providing funds and military advice, training and equipment to Afghan forces, said Defense Secretary Ash Carter, who indicated the U.S. troop drawdown would resume.

The Taliban should realize "that they cannot win, that the Afghan security forces aided by us are going to be stronger than them and are going to be able to defend the state of Afghanistan and the government of national unity there, and therefore that the alternative to coming across and making peace with the government is their certain defeat on the battlefield," Carter said on Wednesday in Rhode Island.

1. We're going to withdraw

2. We want to negotiate with the Taliban

3. The Taliban should realize they can't win

See if you can spot the one that doesn't fit.

“Whenever I hear anyone in the administration talking about the prospects for peace negotiations or how killing Mullah Mansour could improve them, I have to ask what they’ve been smoking," a U.S. military officer with extensive experience in Afghanistan, said on condition of anonymity.

Better ask Barack.


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