The courageous working class heroes of Obama Inc. are bravely recovering from the shock of losing an election and are plotting their resistance to the workers' revolution that banished them from power. These resistance fighters are camping out in pricey hotel lobbies and hipster hangouts to plan the reactionary counterrevolution to the working class Trump revolt that defeated their beloved leader.
President Barack Obama told his most loyal operatives that they have 10 days to get over their grief.
They’re already ahead of schedule.
They're ahead of schedule. You can't help but admire that. The teddy bears and therapy dogs have been hugged. Now the pajama boys are readying for war. They're going to the mattresses.
In the past week, Obama alumni have planned gatherings at Glascott’s Saloon in Chicago (an old campaign haunt) and The Winslow in New York. In Washington, they’re meeting in hotel lobbies, 14th Street bars, nonprofits’ conference rooms and living rooms, plotting the resistance over beer and hummus.
Not to mention braised moroccan lamb, curry cauliflower and house-made charcuterie and kale salad over at The Winslow. The revolution will not be brought to you by Coca Cola. It will be brought to you by "Coriander, juniper with subtle citrus make this British gin unique".
Down with the working class. Up with the oppressed D.C. staffers of Obama Inc. Throw off your chains in non-profit conference rooms. March. Fight! You have nothing to lose but your goat cheese!
One attendee called the meetings “Obama Anonymous,”
Hi my name is Bill and I'm a dedicated progressive activist who spent eight years terrorizing and oppressing the American working class before they overthrew my regime.
“The tipping point was when we started talking about how we could kick his ass, and that we could,” Jaff said. “You realize everybody wants to fight and you suddenly get hundreds of messages coming in from volunteers who you’ve worked with before.”
Rinse. Repeat.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way. There’d be a wave election to sweep away Trump’s divisive rhetoric and Republican obstruction all at once. The people who have spent the last decade sweating it out for Obama – in many cases most of their adult lives – could finally lead normal lives, his legacy safely in the hands of the first woman president.
And then the wall fell. The tanks stopped. And the Soviet Union fell.
“Not going to lie, I want to get out of politics,” Andy Oare wrote on Facebook Monday. He worked on both Obama campaigns and in the administration before landing at the Glover Park Group, a Washington-based strategy firm. “I thought an HRC victory would allow me the peace of mind to ride off into the sunset, and focus on a more personal and family-focused future.”
Earlier that day, Oare wrote, his wife had brought home two copies of the Constitution, and it hit him: “The last seven days imposed a seismic shift in what my life looks like over the next four years.”
This is big. The left is learning to love the Constitution again. Except for all the stuff in the Bill of Rights they don't like.
Could Vice President Joe Biden leads an anti-domestic violence campaign?
Sure. Because who better than a guy famous for his creepy behavior with women? Joe Biden. "I may grope the ladies, but I don't punch them."
But don't worry. The left doesn't give up. When it encounters a setback, it infiltrates and burrows even deeper.
According to notes from one attendee, they also kicked around the idea of an equivalent of the PeaceCorps or Teach for America to plant service-oriented progressives in the rural areas Trump won
The war is far from over.
Obama is planning to join them soon, virtually at least.
“The president is committed to staying in touch with this group with some regularity in the months and years ahead,” Obama’s former campaign manager David Plouffe told OFA members on the call. In fact, Plouffe added, after the disastrous election results, “We’ll have to do it a little more frequently.”
Obama is still a powerful force for the generation that grew up working for him.
“He’s our Jesus Christ. We’re crazy,” said Jaff, not without self-awareness. “It’s 10 years later, and we’re still obsessed.”