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Nigerian Novelist Wonders Why Everyone Loves Hillary

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Why does everyone love Hillary Clinton? It's hard to say. Her unfavorable ratings have hit 60%. That makes her more popular than

1. The Bubonic Plague

2. ObamaCare

3. Osama bin Laden's corpse

It's not much to go on. But the Atlantic decided to run a piece by Chimamanda Adichie titled,"Why Is Hillary Clinton So Widely Loved?"

Your response to seeing the name Chimamanda Adichie was probably huh. Unless you're a gender studies student at an Ivy. In which case you know exactly who she is and love her. Chimamanda Adichie is a Nigerian novelist whose "We should all be feminists" is big in those circles. 

The Clinton campaign is unbearably awkward and this panegyric by Adichie was an obvious attempt to channel some of that canned Obama poetry. And like most Hillary branding, it fails badly.

There are howlers like, "There are millions who admire the tapestry of Hillary Clinton’s past" and "There are people who, when Hillary Clinton becomes the first woman to be president of the United States, will weep from joy". It's not quite a hymn to Comrade Stalin. Nor is it getting there by any means except a tow truck.

And then there's the phrasing. Oh the phrasing. "Hillary Clinton was guilty immediately when she stepped into the view of the American public as the first lady of Arkansas." 

This is an awkward attempt to channel that Obama poetry, but instead it reads like a DVD manual badly translated from the Japanese.

The Atlantic piece is full of lines that straddle the border between tin-eared propagandistic cliche and just bad writing. 

"She was a lawyer full of dreams:

"She was guilty of not being a traditional first lady. She offended the old patriarchal order."

Then there's the theme of the article, which is to just deny reality. 

"A conservative writer labeled her a congenital liar when she was first lady, and the label stuck because it was repeated over and over—and it was a convenient label to harness misogyny. If she was a liar, then the hostility she engendered could not possibly be because she was a first lady who refused to be still and silent. “Liar’ has re-emerged during this election even though Politifact, a respected source of information about politicians, has certified that she is more honest than most politicians"

The perfect timing for that defense would have been not right after Hillary Clinton shouted at a rally that she had been in New York on 9/11. But don't worry. Hillary is more honest than most politicians. A site supporting her said so.

" Other words have been repeated over and over, with no context, until they have begun to breathe and thrum with life. Especially “emails.” The press coverage of “emails” has become an unclear morass where “emails” must mean something terrible, if only because of how often it is invoked."

How about "Classified emails"? Or "illegal server"? Or "violation of regulations dealing with the handling of classified material"? That's got lots of context. Or "cover-up".

"The people who love Hillary Clinton know that the IT system at the State Department is old and stodgy, nothing like a Blackberry’s smooth whirl. Hillary Clinton was used to her Blackberry, and wanted to keep using it when she became secretary of state."

People who love Hillary know that she love high tech Blackberry. Hillary love Blackberry. She is a lawyer full of dreams who fights for the children of migrant workers and loves their smooth whirl. Politifact thrums with life. Says her Blackberry is more honest than the iPhone. Hillary has many dreams of thrumming Blackberries whirling smoothly that offend the traditional stodgy patriarchal order IT system.

"The American conservative media saw an opportunity to blow the “emails” story out of proportion, soon followed, almost bashfully, by the rest of the American media"

Is that how it works in Nigeria? Because that's not how it works in America.

"There is no objective basis on which to equate Hillary Clinton to her opponent."

They're both mammals? They need oxygen to live? They're better writers than Chimamanda Adichie.

"The people who love Hillary Clinton see the failings of the general American media, where news entertains rather than informs. They bristle when benign stories about her are covered with an ominous tone"

They bristle and they hug their Blackberry and weep for they fear that the patriarchal stodgy IT systems will prevent Hillary from being the thrumming  First Lady of North America.

"They know that she is a bit too careful, but they understand that she has to be, that she cannot afford spontaneity."

You would think with all those six figure speeches, she could. afford a little

"her actions so falsely magnified, that she leaned into caution, wrapped herself in a kind of caution that sometimes makes her appear stilted "

And wrapped in her caution, her whirling Blackberry in one hand, she bristled at the public, retracting her quills and occasionally hissing in an informed fashion for the children of migrant workers who admired the tapestry of her past.

"There are millions of Americans who do not have the self-indulgent expectation that a politician be perfect. They are frustrated that Hillary Clinton is allowed no complexity. "

Get Beyonce on the phone. I think  Adichie has got another hit.


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